caiyo474

i have faith in beauty. and i have always found that in complexity.. patterns

it's not that i don't believe i deserve happiness.. but i cannot let go of the fear i will not find beauty again. for so long, my companionship, with not only self but this world as well, has been so largely influenced by pain and the beauty of suffering.. how will i find intricacy in happiness. my mind races through obstacles i create for myself, solving puzzles set by my unconscious mind and spirit guides to prepare me for anything to come. but when i let go of expectation for the future there is the possibility to find

semblance
tessellation
in ways ive never known
ways i don't necessarily have to sacrifice to feel

and that terrifies me.

it's funny that we work so hard in order to gain opportunities to present our ideas to one another and discuss ones we already are made up of... yet when we have someone's attention, we take it for granted, and let so many things get in the way of true communication and intention

i have a few sketches i can upload that i've done these past few nights. I forgot about this account... i've been lost inside myself or whatever i suppose.

"Ramana Maharshi is an example of someone in their last life, reaching the end of reincarnation. Towards the end of his life, some of his students begged him not to die, not to leave them. His answer was: "But where could I possibly go?" He knew that both he and everybody else are already Home, and always will be, having never really left it."